I’ve noticed something. When people talk, it’s not really a conversation—it’s more like two people taking turns giving speeches. We’re stuck in a loop of talking without listening.
Someone mentions something personal, and instead of asking questions or showing curiosity, the other person jumps in with their own story. New topic. Their story. End of interest.
It’s not a connection—it’s 2 monologues combined.
Well – I do it too. I catch myself mid-conversation, nodding while mentally preparing my own response.
You speak, I respond (about me), you respond (about you), and repeat. No follow-ups. No pauses. Just bouncing between egos.
Real conversation—the kind where someone feels heard, seen, understood—feels like a rare species these days.
Blame it on the feed
I can’t help it but in my opinion social media had a hand in this.
It taught us how to be interesting, not how to be interested. Online, we’re rewarded for sharing, not asking. For broadcasting, not listening.
The result?
Talking without listening becomes the norm. We turn every exchange into an opportunity to showcase something about ourselves.
Even in conversations about tough stuff—mental health, grief, struggles—it still circles back to “let me tell you about my experience.”
Sometimes, we just don’t know how else to relate.
How to be less interesting (on purpose)
I’ve started trying something different: asking questions. Real ones. Not the polite “How are you?” that people answer with a shrug and a lie, but follow-up questions. “What made you get into that?” “How did that feel?” “Tell me more.”
When I stop worrying about being interesting and start getting curious, things are shifting.
The other person relaxes. They go deeper and I learn something.
We actually connect—which (surprise, sic!), feels way better than just performing my way through a conversation.
We’re out of practice, not out of hope
They say we have two ears and one mouth for a reason: we’re meant to listen twice as much as we speak. Not because it makes us saints or better people—but because it makes life more interesting. Just like that.
